Stumbling Along

It was a hard weekend.  By Sunday, I was on the verge of tears within minutes of waking, and I just didn't see how I was going to have the stamina to make it to the end of the day.  I can usually go with the flow, but Sunday, I couldn't flow anymore.  I had plans in my mind, and no one was working towards my plan.  Before 11:00 AM, I had kids separated in every part of the house, and the walls felt like they were crushing in around me.  Tossing up a quick prayer, I kept walking one foot in front of the other, fed this massive crowd (I still can't believe how much it takes to feed this crew!), and put little Titus to bed.  One down and six to go...except, Mr. Titus was not buying my idea!

I looked around at dirty floors, loads of laundry, school curriculum to be organized...you get the picture!  Not only was everything around me a mess, but it was 2:00, and I was still in my PJs!  I hadn't even finished my cup of coffee.  Two weeks in, and I was seeing "failure" all around me.  The Lord quickly reminded me to commit my plans to Him.  I prayed for Him to show me the next step.  Hearing Titus' cries, I decided to go to his bedroom and try something that I had read from an adoptive mom regarding nap time.  Our little guy sleeps all night (HUGE BLESSING) and barely makes a peep when we put him to bed, but he really struggles through his naps.  I had tried to hold him and rock him, but he just screamed (no tears, just screams!).  Honestly, God carried me into that room, because with the walls crashing in, the last thing I wanted to do was sit within 6 inches of this incredible set of lungs.  With absolutely no tears, this sweet little thing can yell like nobody's business!  He wailed as I walked in, and slightly opened his little eyes to see if I was looking.  When he does this at the dinner table, we all count to three and holler back.  His eyes will open wide and his face will break into a huge 6 tooth grin!  Anyway, I tried to lay him down, but his legs were locked.  I placed his little singing sea horse in his arms and reached through the crib to touch his legs.  As he yelled, I prayed for God's wisdom and direction of just how to survive our family's transition.  I was weary after just two weeks...how could we make it to a new normal?  I knew that it was just right for me to stay with him, so I resolved to sit it out and take the time to use my free hand to check the 500+ emails that have been sitting in my inbox.  Before doing so, I saw that I had a text from a sweet friend sent earlier in the day just about the same time I was feeling paralyzed by the challenges of our new family:

The steps of the godly are directed by the Lord.  He delights in every detail of their lives.  Though they stumble, they will not fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand.

Psalm 37:23-24

Oh, how my heart and soul needed to hear that God was delighting in every detail of our lives!  We had stumbled many times through the weekend, and I, their mother, had certainly stumbled, but He promised that we would not fall.  He was holding my hand as I walked through each challenge and each glorious moment with our transitioning family.  He held my hand and led me into the room with Titus, and those next few moments allowed me to laugh at a stubborn little guy who finally fell asleep.  Those moments that I wouldn't have chosen for myself allowed me to stare at the wrinkles in his feet, the curls in his lashes, and long fingers that eventually grasped mine as he tossed in his bed.  Through my hardest day, I fell a little deeper in love with my seven and the One that loved all of us before we ever knew the moments that laid ahead!

Here's a little clip of our little guy that refused to lie down:

IMG 1784 from Michelle Wiley on Vimeo.
 

After waking a little bit, he decided he would at least sit down:

IMG 1788 from Michelle Wiley on Vimeo.

So...here's to stumbles without falling!  We're ready for the next week to come!

Finally Home

We've been home for a week, and with the lack of blog posts or Facebook shares, you can tell that it. has. been. busy!  We still have so many nights when we watch Samuel, Sophie and Titus run through our home and play with their new brothers and sisters, and Jason and I simply stand in awe of the gift God has given us.  It is so amazing to see the faces that we stared at through pictures come to life in our family room!  

Let us not kid you, the transition has been quite a challenge, but everyday, we see glimpses of where life is becoming more settled.  Samuel is understanding more English with each passing day, and Parker, Spencer, Brendan and Sara Kate having been incredible with caring for and loving their siblings.  The most incredible transformation has been in sweet Titus.  We've watched a fussy little baby turn into a bustling little boy that now sleeps through night, laughs and plays Peek-a-Boo!  Sophie regularly sleeps with Sara Kate, and she is quite the girly-girl with her hair filled with bows (literally 10 at one time), clip-on earrings, and princess attire!  Samuel's sweet heart humbles us all the time.  He's been most excited about learning how to ride a bike, and none of us would have guessed how happy he would be with drawers that were dedicated to clothes just for him!  There isn't a day that he doesn't thank us for the clothes that he is wearing.  He now owns a pair of hand-me-down tennis shoes and flip flops from Old Navy, and to him, they are like precious gems...a lesson that has touched the hearts of each of us.

We're beyond thankful for a refrigerator, freezer, and pantry FULL of food and paper products.  These kiddos are major eaters...especially bananas.  We've gone through 8 bunches of bananas this week.  They've had no real issues with food, and they will eat almost anything you put in front of, behind, or beside them! :)  They aren't particularly fond of sweets (this causes some concern for the Wileys), but we have plenty of volunteer consumers for anything chocolate at this house!

 SIDE NOTE FOR ADOPTIVE PARENTS:  Let your friends stock your pantry with paper plates, bowls, cups, napkins, utensils, paper towels, toilet paper, and tissues.  OH MY GOODNESS!  The. Greatest. Gift. Ever!  

Finally, the love, support, meals, well wishes, texts, calls and emails have been some of the best food for our hearts.  Through the transition, we've had tears, frustrations, laughter, and moments where everything seems to be flying out of control, but through it all, we've felt God's presence, his strength, his comfort, his wisdom and his love.  Through a song, a text, a call, a meal, a bag of hand-me-downs, a bag of fruit, a ride for a child, or an offer to help God has wrapped us with His love through the body of Christ.  It has been through Him that our family has grown, and it has been through Him that we've had the strength this week!  Never underestimate the power of expressing His tangible love through the body of Christ.  We've felt it...really felt it through our entire process, and without it, we shutter to think of what this may have been like for us and the seven precious gifts that He has given us.  Our hearts sing of thanksgiving for each of you that have supported us along the way!  Thank you!

Our friend, Clay Miller of Miller Video Productions, captured our sweet homecoming and our kids' first time meeting.  We're so happy to share this day with all of you that have walked with us through the journey!  Thank you, Clay, for this precious gift!

wiley homecoming highlights from Miller Video Productions on Vimeo.